From Language Modulation To Rolegame Scripts

Real Life Sadhanas in the Forbidden Yoga lineage

Michael is right now in the preparation for a Sensual Liberation Retreat with the code name Los Angeles. When he prepares a Sensual Liberation Retreat, he usually spends a few months before the retreat to investigate the storyboard, to write the storyboard, and to enter the mind of the person who is booking it. A few months before the retreat starts, he writes a letter to the person who has booked, because they are already in dialogue about the main topic.

In this case we call the client Marc. Marc says that he feels abused or humiliated by his girlfriend because he feels that she only wants money from him. He is supporting her, but he does not feel that he gets back what he really needs or wants. There is an energetic imbalance. He is the one who supports her, she is much younger, there is an age gap, and he feels he is not receiving what nourishes him. They are open minded people and they speak about it honestly. Here is how Michael answers.

„When I listen to your audio, I am thinking of language modulation through writing. You know that we have the sadhanas, we have the rituals, and we have this third pillar, which is language and writing. I would start writing with the idea that everything we are afraid of or we hate, we also desire. From this third pillar of writing we will later move into the fourth pillar, which is role playing, but writing is the foundation.

The sadhanas you do, and the specific sadhana I will give you, provide the energy, the clarity, and both physical and mental strength. The rituals and other practices we will do later. The preparation for the coming months is writing. Through writing we develop a script for the unconscious. Let us start very practically. The main core sentence might be: I feel abused or I feel humiliated because I am just delivering money and I get nothing back from her.“

Now you have a main sentence, and you begin to modulate this sentence back and forth. I hate to be humiliated because I am only giving. The opposite could be: I enjoy to be humiliated because I am only taking. I feel humiliated because I am only taking. I feel guilty because I am only taking energy. I feel guilty because I am only taking the energy of the feminine. I do not feel guilty at all because I take her energy. I deserve to take her energy. I am a vampire and I must take her energy and I do not want to give anything back. She is a vampire and she just wants to take my money energy and play with me. I love to be humiliated by a young woman. I feel pleasure when I am humiliated by her. It turns me on to be humiliated and to be exploited. I love to be exploited. I would feel sexual pleasure if I gave her money so that she can make out with another man. I want to pay her to watch her have sex with another man while I pay her money. My personal boundaries are now clear and I will never give money again to a woman. I will never host a woman again in my house. I will never give shelter again.

You understand the direction. You modulate the sentence until you come to a point where you feel that this could become a sexual rolegame that can actually be performed.

At the end of this writing process, which can take a few days, a few weeks, or even a few months, you will come up with a primary. This primary is a sentence or scenario with which you have to identify, and which may look very strange to you. It will be a scenario for a sexual role game, which might set you free in the end, but if you looked at it purely intellectually today, it would appear to be the opposite of what you think you are.

For example, a woman may think she is a submissive, but in her daily life she is very bossy. The only thing she dreams of is to be sexually degraded, but because she is powerful, she looks for someone who has more power than she has. At the end of her writing process, after writing many times I want to be degraded, I want to be humiliated, I want to have this sexual experience, the final sentence after weeks of writing might be: I am in an endless power game in my life and I just want to be in peace and I want to feel love. This could be the result of an ongoing writing sadhana on humiliation, submission, and domination. It could become the primary sentence where the heart suddenly feels in tune: I am tired of any kind of game, I just want to love and be loved, and I still want to explore my shadow personality inside BDSM role games, but these games will never again shadow and backfire into my daily life.

That is one example. Another example could be a family constellation. In your family history you may have had a father who was always cheated on, or from whom money was taken. Your father was cheated, or exploited, or scammed, and now the son has a relationship with a woman and he is financing her, paying for her, supporting her. He will always unconsciously feel that he is being exploited or humiliated, even if in reality he is simply doing what many men would do. Every man might give a woman shelter, money, and support without asking for anything directly in return. In a healthy situation the woman would naturally give back energy, sexual energy, love energy, and nourishment.

If the father was exploited or scammed, or was a victim of lying, the family field is already impure. The son may then attract a woman who unconsciously begins to scam him, not because she wants to, but because it lives in the family energy field, in the hologram of the family. Through writing and later through role games you can find out where this is actually coming from. For example, the person might write: I am being taken advantage of, I am used by a woman, the woman is using me. Then suddenly the subconscious gives another sentence: My father was also used. And later: My father enjoyed being used. We are all the same. We are one family, it will never change. We are victims. In this way you move deeper and deeper into the negativity through writing.

After some time, a primary might emerge that no longer feels secondary. For example: I feel the victim energy of abuse by women, but now I am ready to move on. There is no secondary sentence attached to it, there is no but, no doubt. It is simply: I am ready to move on into something new.

You can see in these examples how Michael moves from the primary writing practice into more complex practices which he offers to people during the Sensual Liberation Retreats. In the mornings, after the morning sadhana, there is a very simple core practice which you can also do yourself. The primary practice from which this more complex work emerges is the practice of today I will.

In the retreats Michael always says let your hand write, not your mind. The hand is the expression of the unconscious. You can of course type, but symbolically it means your hand writes. For example: Today I will just go outside and talk to a guide about something that will embarrass me. Today I will pleasure myself in public and I will be embarrassed. Let your hand write whatever it wants. Every day you write perhaps twenty sentences beginning with today I will. After a while you will notice that a recurring theme appears. The same type of action or fantasy returns again and again. This is what your body mind actually needs. Your body mind may not be looking for Jesus Christ, or for going to the mosque, or for another religious practice. It may be that your body mind is craving something completely different. This is what it wants.

After some days at the Sensual Liberation Retreat, Michael will then ask people to pick one of these sentences and to try to fulfill it. They start with something simple and safe, and then feel how it is. Once you come closer and closer to the body and to what you really want to do today, and you stop suppressing it, you begin to actually do it. Then you combine it with the kriyas of Forbidden Yoga. You combine it with all the other elements of Forbidden Yoga, and you begin to understand the hologram, how complex this entire structure really is. In the beginning it seems disorganized, because there are so many different fields of activity which at first do not seem to connect. Later you combine this with the bija mantra writings of the chakras, and later again with sexual practices. Step by step the threads begin to weave together.

The terminology of Forbidden Yoga is cross pollinated by Advaita Vedanta, which means that in some ways it is intellectual. Our worship of Kali is not expressed through external rituals in the way they are done in India. It is an investigation of the mind. Later, when we have enough information about your individual self, you can experience similar energies inside the rituals, but at that point you already know much more about yourself.

In Sanskrit terms, the way I use these expressions is Pratamika, Vaikrita, Pratyayasarga. Pratamika is the primary. At the end of your work you come up with a primary statement and you say: I actually want to have this (!) experience, even if it goes against my logic, but this is what my body mind is telling me. I want to feel this. This is what I want. It is not secondary.

Vaikrita means the secondary, the doubt, the split. It is the but. For example: I want this, but. I want to love you, but I am not allowed to love you. I want to hate you, but hate is not good.

Pratyayasarga is the playful part here. This is the modulation and the exaggeration. When I speak about modulation, I mean that you take any idea that appears in your writing and you push and exaggerate this idea into absurdity. You are writing a theatre script. You are writing a script that is irrational. At a certain point you stop thinking so much. The script, the Pratyayasarga, gives you many ideas. It gives you a more vivid epiphany, a more graphical map of your unconscious. Through this Pratyaya sarga you feel again more deeply into the primary, because the exaggeration shows you that there is far more play and far more possibility in your story. In this way the Pratyayasarga helps you discover a new primary.

love@forbidden-yoga.com